For example, if writing about your soccer coach, you may write, "Through his advice and the example of his character, my soccer coach has inspired me to never be lazy, to get back up after a fall, and to be a confident leader. Instead of starting the essay with an explicit physical or personal description of the person, you can more meaningfully reveal who the individual is by sharing a personal story.
For example, if you are writing about your sibling, you can begin the essay with a specific memory of a moment or experience you shared in which your relationship or your sibling's strengths and weaknesses are revealed through actions. This is an engaging way to entertain the reader while imparting valuable information about the person you are describing.
At some point in the descriptive essay, you need to describe the influential person. This description -- which can include physical attributes, biographical information and personality traits -- should be related with concrete language. The description should paint a vivid picture of all that matters about the person. The writer needs to be judicious in which descriptive material she selects for inclusion in the essay; the information should be determined by the overall point being made in the essay.
For example, if your thesis statement is about how Abraham Lincoln is your hero because of all his accomplishments relative to the social and political conditions of the time, descriptions of his favorite hobbies or hair color may not be pertinent.
The description serves to give a deeper and more vivid portrait of the influential person, but should ultimately serve the higher cause of the thesis statement and the effect of the person on the writer. When writing about an influential person, you have to talk not just about the person, but also about the reason the person has made an impact on your life; this means you have to talk about yourself, what specific things you have learned from this person, and how those lessons affect you today.
An important strategy for successfully describing the relationship between the person and the writer is to give specific examples. For example, don't just say, "my grandmother is generous"; give specific examples of her generosity: Soheila Battaglia is a published and award-winning author and filmmaker. My father immigrated to the United States from Mexico when he was only 16 years old all by himself. He started working immediately, and worked very hard.
As soon as he turned 22 he bought his own house in the San Fernando Valley. He didn't put 1, dollars down payment, he didn't put 10, down, nor did he put 50, down.
He bought it all at once, he was so proud and now that he tells me about his story I am proud as well. Here is a 16 year old boy who emigrated from Mexico, and worked so hard doing construction work. In about 5 years or so he managed to buy a 4 bedroom home. I mean when I think about it, who has a home this big by the age of 22? Let alone come from another country and learn everything on his own. He did this all by himself and even though he says it was hard, he never gave up.
Essay 1: Wellesley | Essay 2: Harvard | Essay 3: Harvard Note: The following essays were not edited by EssayEdge Editors. They appear as they were initially reviewed by admissions officers.
I chose good influential people, which is my father, my 5th grade teacher, and my best friend Junior. Although it can be anyone, those are the three people that have influenced me to do better in my life more than anyone else has.
Unlike most editing & proofreading services, we edit for everything: grammar, spelling, punctuation, idea flow, sentence structure, & more. Get started now! College Admissions Essays: An Influential Person or Event - An influential Person/event It seemed like it would make her die, just speaking it. So I didn't tell anyone, not even my .
College Essay The most influential person in my life is my mom. She has inspired me to strive for the best in life through her perseverance, strength and how she continues to do what she needs to do even with the challenges she faces daily. My mom and I faced numerous challenges since I was born. A descriptive essay on an influential person can be about someone who has had a positive or negative impact on your life. This person can be a teacher, a coach, a family member, a friend, an employer, a political figure, a .